Top 10 First-Year Law Student Pick-Up Lines

On behalf of law students in need of comic relief, I present the following Top Ten List…

Top Ten First-Year Law Student Pick-Up Lines:

10.  “Wanna handle my contingent remainder?”

9. “Hey, check out my briefs.”

8. “How’d you like to come back to my place for a little actus reus?”

7. “When I think of you, I become fully vested.”

6. “Oh, I got your promissory estoppel right here.”

5. “Is your estate subject to open?”

4. “I’ve got a precedent that’s long and deep.”

3. “Hey, I’ll show you my mens rea.”

2. “When I bring an ejectment action, there’ll be nothing quiet about your enjoyment.”

And the #1 First-Year Law Student Pick-Up Line…

1. “So, are you into reverse bifurcation?”

Elliott Lewis is a licensed attorney, author, and media professional. This essay was originally posted on Open Salon in July 2010.  Visit Elliott’s website at


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